A critique of Shakespeare’s play ‘Hamlet’, but with a twist.
HAMLET DISMANTLED
“To be or not to be
That is the question:
Now this sort of talk
Gives me indigestion.
Yeah, I know that it’s Shakespeare
But Hamlet’s a ‘wuss’
Wandering round with a frown on his ‘puss’.
He thinks he’s got troubles
He should have some of mine
Then there’d be reason
To sit down and whine.
Hamlet’s mother is Gertrude
A ‘sneaky’ old bat
She’s married his uncle –
So he smells a rat.
The ghost of his father
Just comes floating back
To tell Hamlet to hurry
And give Uncle the whack.
Confused? Well I tell ya
Just wait – it gets madder
‘Cause his girlfriend Ophelia
Makes him even sadder.
After stabbing a curtain
Hamlet’s killed the wrong guy
That’s Ophelia’s Daddy
And boy, does she cry.
You’d think she’d enough
Of the watery stuff
No, she jumps in the river,
Hamlet takes it real rough.
The story gets weirder,
Hamlet talks to a skull
And sil-ol-o-quises,
(This part’s pretty dull)
The duels are great
Lots of snicketty snick
Hamlet lies dying
Cut to the quick.
There was something I learned
By the end of the play
I’d rather have my life
Than Ham’s, any day!