THE TOUR GUIDE
By Michele Lourie
(Enters carrying an umbrella with a little coloured flag on the tip, to be held up so that tourists can see her/him in crowd)
Come along, come along now. Keep together, keep together.
Wouldn’t want to lose any of you. (laughs)
My name is Yasmin and I will be your guide today. We will be walking through the alleyways and market areas here in Morocco – a fascinating place with lots of unusual things to see and eat.
(Listens as someone speaks) No little boy, I don’t think we will be tasting sheep’s eyeballs, no matter what the tourist brochure says.
Stay together and watch for my flag. It can get very crowded.
(Listens) No madam, you won’t be able to carry that carpet with you on the tour. You’ll have to arrange for it to be sent to your hotel.
(Listens) No little boy, I doubt it’s a magic carpet like in Aladdin so we won’t be able to fly on it, no.
Forward! (Holds up umbrella, walks, then stops abruptly)
Here we have a snake charmer. Watch how the snake sways to the music.
Little boy, little boy, don’t touch it. It is not asleep, just hypnotised.
(Speaks soto voce) I wish somebody would hypnotise that little boy.
Move along, move along. DON’T STEP IN THAT, LITTLE BOY …. Oh! Too late! No it’s not mud – it’s from the camels. Well never mind, your mother can buy you a cheap pair of shoes at the next stall.
Little boy, have some Turkish delight.
(Speaks soto voce) That should keep him quiet for a while.
(Leads tourists off stage, speaking as exiting)
Next stop is a tea house – and maybe we can even get those … sheep’s eyeballs for you, little boy.
(exits laughing).
