The Weatherman on a television channel is encountering great difficulties. All his work aids have crashed. The only way he can provide a report to the local viewers is to look out the window and describe what he can see with his own eyes. Not the most professional of reports!
HOW’S THE WEATHER?
By Michele Lourie, c 2019
(Newsreader seated at desk with telephone on the side)
Are we back?
(puts on ‘newsreader’ voice)
Now to recap the local headlines.
ONE ARMED MAN APPLAUDS THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS
FEDERAL POISON CENTRE REMINDS EVERYONE NOT TO TAKE POISON
WELL-LOVED DOG MISSING SINCE IT GOT LOST.
Now stay with us. Coming up next – the weather.
(speaks to producer up in the tech. room in his normal voice)
Hey Jason, the teleprompter seems to be on the blink. It’s sort of fluctuating in and out so I can’t
read it. Lucky I remembered the headlines (laughs) or I would have looked a real fool.
How much longer before I’m back on? Ok, I’m just going to send a text.
(picks up mobile and pretends to text)
Back on?
(puts on newsreader voice again)
And now for the weather for your local area.
(obviously reading from the teleprompter)
In Murwillumbah today the temperature ranged from minus 3 to 30 degrees, while Lismore suffered
Its coolest day in a decade with temperatures in the high forties.
(looks confused & worried, shaking his head)
I think we should go to an ad break.
(jumps up and comes to front of desk, looking up AND using his ordinary voice again)
Jason, Jason, what’s happening, man? How can the coolest day be in the high forties? Everyone
in the area would have heat stroke.
We’re going back. (races back to chair) But is the teleprompter working now? How do you expect me
to cope without any information? I’ll look like a complete fool.
(throws his hands about and looks miserable – changes voice)
Welcome back. Umm, tomorrow looks like being much the same as today, weatherwise, ….
(mobile on desk rings)
Ah, yes sir, I’m afraid we’re having a little trouble here sir. Yes, I do realise that the information is suspect, sorry!
(puts the mobile down, but it rings again)
I’m sorry, Madam, I realise you need to know whether to take an umbrella with you tomorrow, but …
Wait a minute, wait a minute. I think we may be back on track. I have the producer on the line.
Yes Jason.
(listens, and face changes to shock) You want me to open a window, put my hand out, and see what the weather is like, now?
Really?
(puts head in hands on the desk, and moves shoulders as though he is sobbing)
