If an alien landed in your back garden, with an appearance not unlike a human, would you believe it was a visitor from outer space? This is the problem of the sceptical householder.
WHO’S FOOLING WHO?
by Michele Lourie c 2018
A1: Whoa! Who or what are you meant to be?
A2: A visitor to your world. I come from Zyadec – a planet inhabited by a peaceful race.
A1: Zyadec? Never heard of it.
Hey, it’s not Halloween is it?
A2: What is Halloween?
A1: I heard this strange whirring noise coming from my garden and came out to find you.
A2: Our spaceship has centrifugal propulsion that does make a peculiar sound.
A1: Are you saying you are for real?
A2: Certainly. I’ve come to Earth to learn about your culture and customs.
A1: This is amazing! You really are an alien?
A2: I won’t be so alien after you’ve taught me some of the most important ways of Earthlings.
A1: I’m to teach you the things you need to blend into our world – is that it?
A2: Yes, I am a scientist on Zyadec and with others I am visiting all the planets on fact-finding missions.
A1: OK, I’m up for it. Let me think. Will you write this down?
A2: No need. I have a photographic memory.
A1: (a little sarcastically) But of course you have. The first important thing to know is:
One – Never get into the shortest line at the supermarket. It always ends up being the slowest.
A2: Copy that!
A1: Two. Don’t ever wash and polish your car on the weekend or it will rain and spoil your fun.
A2: Interesting!
A1: Three. Speaking of the weather, if you want it to turn cold then don’t take a warm jumper on any outing.
A2: So, you Earthlings can actually control your weather? Extraordinary! And these are the main laws that Earthlings live by?
A1: The smart ones do.
A2: And you are one of the smart ones?
A1: (laughing sarcastically) Smart enough to know when I’m being taken for an April Fool – ‘cause I’ve just realised that today is April Fool’s Day.
A2: I don’t understand.
A1: See you in Zyadec some time.
(A1 exits laughing)
A2: (calls after) I was going to ask if you’d like to take a trip to Zyadec with me.
(Shrugs as exits)
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