An Intermediate duologue. An alien spaceship comes to earth and needs to re-fuel with ‘hot air’. Where can the crew find it? Who gives out the most ‘hot air’ in communities – the politicians?
ALIENS
(INTERMEDIATE DUOLOGUE)
Michele Lourie c 2015
(Two actors enter, dressed as aliens with Alien 1 carrying a tiny computer and both with buttons marked on their suits. Their movements should be a little stiff, especially in the turning of the heads)
ALIEN 1: (Speaks gobblydegook)
Accamaccarodolacca!
ALIEN 2: Ssh! Stop! Press your button to English. We don’t want the people here to know we come from outer space.
ALIEN 1: (Sarcastically as he/she presses button on front of suit)
And they wouldn’t know from the way we’re dressed?
ALIEN 2: I don’t think so. Look at them ….
(They gaze about, stiffly) Some of these Earthlings wear the strangest clothes.
ALIEN 1: Yes, I see what you mean.
Now what do we do? We weren’t supposed to land here.
ALIEN 2: I know, I know. I’m sorry, I made a mistake.
ALIEN 1: A big mistake. How could you confuse Earth for Mars. One is green on the computer while the other is a bright red.
ALIEN 2: (Looking upset) I forgot to tell you that I’m colour blind.
ALIEN 1: Oh great! And now we don’t have enough fuel in our spaceship to get back home. That’s just perfect.
ALIEN 2: You’re acting like a cry baby.
(Alien 1 Pulls out tiny computer and pretends to look something up, then drops to the floor and cries like a baby)
What on this planet are you doing?
ALIEN 1: You said I was a ‘cry baby’, so I’m acting like one.
ALIEN 2: (Sighs) Let’s concentrate on the fuel problem. Where are we going to get some fuel.
(They both pose in ‘thinking’ mode, which should be a little bizarre in style)
Hot air – where could we find lots of hot air on Earth?
(Alien 1 has taken our his/her computer)
ALIEN 1: It says here that the leaders of this planet generate plenty of ‘hot air’.
ALIEN 2: Is that so? And where can we find these leaders?
ALIEN 1: (Reading) In places called ‘parliaments’. See here!
ALIEN 2: Good work. Let’s get back to the ship and grab a few of these leaders so we can use their hot air for fuel.
ALIEN 1: I hope the Earthlings won’t miss them.
ALIEN 2: Oh, I don’t think they will.
