GUM UP THE WORKS by Michele Lourie, c 2019
ACTOR 1: You know I’m really good with hair.
ACTOR 2: Yeah, but this is a special occasion. I have to look good for my graduation, and I’ve been growing it for ages to get it to this length.
ACTOR 1: I know that. I’ll make it perfect, I promise, and at half the price. If you went to a proper salon it could cost you hundreds of dollars.
ACTOR 2: How much do you want?
ACTOR 1: Mmm, I’ll do it for $50.
ACTOR 2: 50? I think I’d rather pay the extra and go to a real hairdresser.
ACTOR 1: Come on. I’ll make it $40, because you’re my favourite sister.
ACTOR 2: I’m your only sister. (pause) Ok, but you’d better do a good job.
ACTOR 1: I will, I will!
(busies putting sheet around ACTOR 2 and getting out pins etc)
ACTOR 2: What do you want the money for?
ACTOR 1: I want to go to that big music festival next month. Now stay still. There what do you think?
(Actor 2 looks in mirror held out to her and shudders)
ACTOR 2: You call that a proper job?
ACTOR 1: Ok, ok, you have to tell me how you want it. Gee, you’re a difficult client; you’re making me stressed.
(takes out a piece of gum, unwraps the paper and pretends to put it in mouth and chew. Must continue to chew through the remainder of duologue)
ACTOR 2: I’d like it swept on top of my head with a piece of hair escaping down each side of my temple.
ACTOR 1: Ooh, ‘escaping at the temple’. That sounds like real client talk.
ACTOR 2: Just concentrate on being a ‘real hairdresser’. Why are you chewing gum?
ACTOR 1: Dad’s barber always chews gum when he works. Says it helps him to concentrate and to put up with the ‘stylezillas’. There, doesn’t that look terrific?
(Actor 1 has been doing a swept-up style and leaves two big pieces hanging)
ACTOR 2: Are you kidding? I look awful.
(Actor 2 goes to rise from the chair)
ACTOR 1: Please, give me one more chance.
ACTOR 2: One more only.
ACTOR 1: Now, I’ve got it. OOPS!
ACTOR 2: What oops? What oops?
ACTOR 1: (holding mirror up in the air so that Actor 2 cannot get at it)
You might need to visit a hairdresser and get your hair cut short.
ACTOR 2: (almost in tears) Why, what have you done?
ACTOR 1: The gum accidentally got stuck in your hair.
ACTOR 2:(chases Actor 1 offstage) Aaaaah!
